Someday....Maybe

2004-11-08 15:19:57

someday....maybe


I suppose I stumbled upon another new page.

I will no longer pine and cry myself all the way home,
because of Mr. wonderful an other great guys that I missed
an opportunity with. They are in love and happy now. And
there is nothing I could ever do to change that.

I can only learn from these experiences and find the
qualities in these individuals that I like in the opposite
sex.

These guys are taken. And actually, so am I. There is no
point in dwelling in it or waiting around. It's doubtful,
but maybe the right guys is out there and will come
along....someday... maybe.

But that's not important right now.


*****flash forward*****

Believe it or not, Matt was one of those "other great guys I'd missed an opportunity with" (!) Crazy, I know. There are still days when I wake up and think, "No way! I married Matt Roberts!"

At that point in my life I was bored with school and only thinking about boys. Unhappy with the relationship I had left my old boyfriend for, I began reminiscing about Mr. Wonderful. (I called him that because Danielle wrote this stupid poem about him called, "wonderful." Seriously. It was just awful. But that's the writer in me talking, not the jealous ex.) What I somehow failed to remember, was that there were very legitimate reasons for breaking up with Dan. (Mr. Wonderful) He was always bringing up the fact that he was several years older than me and always suspicious when I went to hang out with my friends. I left my diary in his car once when he took me to school and not only did he read everything, but highlighted important sentences and made notes!!!

But I guess at the time of the entry I forgot about all this. I just remembered the good times and wanted to feel that way again. It killed me to see him with Danielle, and my place of work, no less.

A few years ago, I had the opportunity to have a relationship with one of the other guys I "missed out on." It was kind of a secret thing. Because of social politics not a lot of people knew about it. It didn't really work out. We had to sneak around alot. I would tell my roommates I was going to work, when I was really going to the movies, or the botanical gardens with him. Then when I would get home all of our friends would be over at my place and he would show up sometime later, like nothing happened. Luckily, and I thank God for this, we ended it before everything blew up in our faces. But that's another blog...saga...made for c.w. drama.

What a mess.