Haunt Me Forever

Oh, this is just too much!!!!



2004-11-10 02:48:58

Haunt Me Forever


My aunt, whom I stay with on days I am at school, says I
should enjoy being young. But I see nothing enjoyable
about it. Sure, I've got this tight little body (that I
will probably let go to hell if I ever squeeze out any
children.) But every thing else sucks. I'm alone, broke,
busy with no free time what so ever, and completely
stressed out. If these are the best years of my life,
then I'm not sure the rest is worth living.

I know I vowed never to care or think about Mr. Wonderful
ever again. But the green eyed monster of jealousy just
won't leave me alone. You'll never guess what he and
Little Miss Perfect-in-every-way Danielle did. THEY TOOK
OUT A RETIREMENT FUND TOGETHER!!!! So you know what that
means, they are practically engaged now.

Why can't I just be happy for them? Maybe because seeing
them together makes me nauseous and images of there future
haunt my depressing dreams. I guess I just feel so
stupid. I was once happy with him and we had everything.
I am not ashamed to say that That summer was the best time
of my misspent youth. But I threw it all away for
something ridiculous. Now it is too late. All is lost.

Remembering the times we had together makes me want to
beat myself with my own shoe. It is literally tearing me
apart.

I have a friend, Ben the Nerd, I have mentioned him
before. He helps me with my meditation, and is very
knowledgeable in the ways of energies and aruas and
psychology. He is like obsessed with memorization and is
always reading all these books to help you remember things
better and improve your skills.

I asked him if there was anyway you could erase memories.
But he said no, because they are tied in with emotions and
is permanently burned into your brain. There was
nothing he could do to help me.

So I guess I am doomed to have my happy memories haunt me
forever.


*****flash forward*****

Oh, woe is me!!! My life is not worth living :( All is lost!


HA hahahha! *sigh*

On a side note - I still remember that tight little body. It already went to hell ;)